Albus Potter:The next Generation Year 1

by Ipod3000

There are not currently any tags associated with this game.

Description

There is spoilers. If you haven't finished the book do not play. But It's your choice.

It's Albus Potter, and well no one can actually say what this first year can do. He is Harry Potter's son. The world of witches and wizards are safe for now. But for how long. Enter the story of Albus Potter.

Stats

(on a scale of 1 to 8)

Maturity Level: 3 - must be at least this tall to play
Story Difficulty: 3 - trek through the forest
Play Length: 6 - It'll be a while, better grab a Snickers®
Player Rating: 5 - not the best, certainly not the worst (based on 22 ratings)
My Rating: you have not yet rated this game
Played 147 times and finished 17 times since 9/17/2007

Comments

I think you have a really good story. But you need to work on your grammar! It was really distracting with all the quotation marks- I wasn't sure when one person stopped talking and the next began. Also spelling and other general grammar needs to rechecked too. Another helpful tip I think would make this story even better is to add more descriptive words. Instead of saying "he said", say something like "he whispered". Make it feel more like a story and add more details. I think it would have been a much more enjoyable playing experience if you broke this up into the different seasons so that you wouldn't feel so rushed (and longer with the added details). You have a great idea here so keep working on it!!

-- SoarHighBeFree (Score of 0)
6/20/2010 12:45:08 AM:

Interesting plot, but a bit too straightforward and easy to win though

-- Anon (Score of 0)
7/31/2009 9:24:59 AM:

If J. K. Rowling wrote a book with this story in it, it wouldn't sound anything like this. Sorry.

-- Conneth (Score of 0)
5/2/2008 12:18:18 AM:

Well, the options didn't really matter. I guess you can say this is more of a story. It was a nice try, but try to elaborate more. Provide extravagant details that can help to picture the scene or explain more distinctly of what is going on.

-- GodsSlayer (Score of 0)
11/17/2007 6:00:01 AM:

I can tell you spent a lot of time on this, but you do not have much talent for writing.

-- weedy (Score of 0)
10/15/2007 10:18:32 PM:

[11 More Comments]