Not proofread enough- more like a first draft. Also no fleshed out background on why these things were happening or much in the way of details other than gore. The gore was good though.
When I first heard about this story, I was very excited. A Final Destination fanfic would work marvelously in this format. However, the total disregard for grammar and spelling killed that mood quickly. You really should do some work. This story has potential.
Well, I finally got around to playing this one (you asked me to after my "sadistic side" comment on the school survival story), and I maintain that you ARE a denizen of the sadistic side.
this game has too much writing and not enough action. WHERE ARE ALL THE COOL EFFECTS!!!!!!
-- clamface (Score of 0)
12/5/2006 1:17:02 AM:
There were numerous grammatical errors. At least one every sentence, because you didn't space after a comma or period (which is vital!!) Also, there were quite a few spelling errors and you forgot to start a new paragraph in dialogue. Basic grammar, people! The story was decent, but there was still too much to read, and combo'd with bad grammar and a strange stroyline, it made me just skip through most of the game ot get to an End Game link.
That wasn't too bad, but the movies are better. I didn't expect you to be better, but you know. By the way, even though I got the story, some bits were, well...
you grab and pull him towards you.You thought you would save him for a second,but the ----->>>fan blades decapitate you<<<----- and send peices of his brain all over your body.
Anyway, not too bad. As much as I hate fanfic, I was actually thinking of making a game like this too, but I'm too busy right now.
Great idea, what an awesome story. But after saving everybody, wouldn't Death try again, and again? Also, what's with the DEATH variable? It doesn't do anything. Nice job.
This was a very good game. It was eccelent. I admit, I did kill on my way trying to save Ryan. I died in 1 choice. Awell. Also next time try to make a bigger story.
-- primates_II (Score of 0)
11/26/2006 8:28:29 PM:
A decent take on a crappy movie. The opening scene was nicely worded. The other comment about the he/she thing is true. Try using paragraphs for the dialogue so it's easier to read. The deaths could be more creative; most of them involve things falling on heads and getting tackled out of the way.
My boy/girlfriend's name is Amanda? If he's a boy, no wonder he's confused. . . This was pretty good, but I really think you should have just picked boy or girl and stuck with it. The constant him/her slash writing kind of messes up the mood.
That was good. Unfortually, I accidently got three people killed then my self from rolling in front of a truck, whoops. I was once working on a Final Destination game but...like always didn't finish it, and got rid of it. Maybe I'll start on one some time.